I Never Wanted to Be This Way
by JSB
Summary: Fire Emblem 7. What If Sain really wasn't the scoundrel everyone made him out to be and there was more behind it.
1. The Beginning

I Never Wanted to Be This Way

A/N: I do not own anyone from Fire Emblem, or anything else I shouldn't own. This story will be in Sain's point of view. The idea for this came from the fact that maybe Sain wasn't as bad as he always acted, and maybe there was more behind it. Now on with the fic.

(Personal Opinions)

"Dialogue"

People always think of me as a hopeless romantic, probably because I always hit on any girl I end up meeting. Chasing them until they agree to date me, slap me in the face, or call me very unflattering names I never wanted to be called. I never wanted to be like this, and still don't want to be like this. But now, it is a part of me, and I can't seem to get rid of it.

It all started when I was seven. My father, being the first hopeless romantic of the family, and also a believer in Extreme Chivalry, wanted to pass the legacy down to me. And how I hate him for teaching me this before he told me his very emotional story of how I came to be. He waited until after I became a knight of Caelin to tell me this.

My father, like I said before, believing in Extreme Chivalry, would go around villages trying to be the perfect knight to all women he could find who were not married. Of course, he believed that women shouldn't fight or work for themselves, which had about every woman in town giving him the cold shoulder. This is when he met my mother. Now, my father loved my mother very much, and did his best to make her look like the innocent one, but I knew better than to believe my father on this.

This is how I translated my father's very sad story. My father was 20 years old at the time, and was on one of his women hunts. Now I know it sounds weird, but it is the best explanation for it. He was slapped twice, sent 3 women into hysterics, kicked in a not so comfortable place, and was beaten by a guy who he had mistaken for a girl (How in all of Elibe he did that, I have no clue. I've never done that in my life). Walking around a bit more before he gave up for that day, he came across a young girl about 17 or 18 years old.

The girl, supposedly had long blond hair, down to her waist (seriously, I don't know how she could stand that) was very beautiful he told me, and was wearing simple blue robes. She was carrying boxes or crates for her father, who was a merchant, and my father, being the extreme chivalrist (A/N: I know it is not a word but please bear with me) he was, decided to help the pretty girl. Now it turned out that my mother was a very lazy and demanding person.

Instead of just helping her, my father ended up doing all the work, while my mother, sat on her **Lazy GOOD FOR NOTHING ASS!** …Sorry, I just get a little ticked at that last part, because it's the start of all the hell my poor stupid father went through. Then the father of my mother showed up, seeing a knight help his daughter, and I mean doing all the work for his daughter who should be doing some of it, decided to try and make profit out of it. He probably wanted to get rid of his lazy daughter. The merchant dragged my father into his tent.

"Would you like to marry my daughter?" the merchant asked, awfully excited about something. My father, like I said before, being a hopeless romantic replied "Yes sir, I would be greatly honored." Now I thought my father was smarter than this, and would get to know how she really was before he married her, I was completely wrong. They were married the next day.

Now you could say that the marriage started out happy, being that they both were happy for about two weeks. But still it wasn't as happy as it should have been, if my mother wasn't greedy, lazy, and didn't want to have kids. The last thing I mentioned put a crack in my father's heart, but he didn't argue, and still loved the crazy woman with all his heart, which is a ton more than she deserved, and nothing close to what he received back.

Now my father married my mother because he was a hopeless romantic, and he found someone to love. My mother had other reasons. One; she wanted to have a reputation. Two; she wanted to treated how she thought she should be treated, nothing less, but more if one could. Three; She wanted to not have to do any work at all.

She only got one of those things, and that was my father doing every little chore for her, if she asked him, he would have given his all to let her be Marquess or any other leading role in Elibe. For having a reputation, she had one all right, just, she was known as a lazy man user. She would brag to her friends about how her husband did everything for her. After she bragged for about a month, her friends started to drift away from her, and tried to give my father advice on how to leave my mother, but he didn't even listen to them, or did, but loved my mother too much to try it.

To be treated how she wanted to be treated, she didn't get that. Sure, she was treated as well as my father could treat her, but it wasn't enough for her. She had to be rich, have many servants wait on her hands and feet, live in the largest house she could find, and have as much clothes as she could. And of course, she blamed my father who wasn't rich enough to afford all those luxuries, along with the fact that she blamed him for loosing her friends too.

A few months later both of my parents were drowning their sorrows, by getting drunk. My father, for his lovely wife hating his guts, and my mother, for not having her dream life. Now when two people get drunk together, things happen, and in my mother's opinion, the worst happened. She got pregnant.

Now this was a dream come true for my father. My mother thought otherwise. "You bastard," she started. "How dare you take advantage of me when I'm drunk and then make me go through this Hell!" Specifying that pregnancy is hell, to her. And to top that off, she went and got herself drunk more often to deal with the pain of having a kid. Every time she would be hurting, she'd scream at my father telling him she hated him. Now finding out that he was having a kid mended the tiny, not very noticeable crack in his heart, but there were more to replace it. And for the mood swings, oh boy, she never got sad or sorry, no, she only went from anger to hatred and back to anger.

Now when I came in to this world, somehow I still remember the first three words she said to be. "I Hate You," she had said with a lot of venom in her voice. Now I had now clue what those three words meant at the time, and I probably don't remember how I reacted to it. Now to my name, Sain, if it wasn't for the fact that Pain wouldn't have been a very good name, she would have named me that. But she chose something very similar in spelling and sounds the same. But when I was born, she started to get some responsibility, yup, she got someone else to feed and take care of me, instead of her.

A year later, my mother finally got fed up with my father. "You worthless idiot," she said with a ton of venom and anger. "You call yourself a knight! I can't believe I married you. It's over; I'm leaving you for someone better. You can keep that disgusting creature to; I don't need anything to remind me of my stupid past." And with that she left my father, taking all his money and anything worth money, for instance, his knight crest. With my mother gone, my father's heart shattered into pieces.

Then my father vowed to train me in the chivalrous ways to avoid having a life like his. Of course, my father never did have very good judgment. I was having problems disagreeing with him, probably the brain damage from when my mother was drunk during her pregnancy, which was about a third of the time. The fact that I didn't die from that is surprising.

Now I vowed, after I heard his story and translated it to myself, that if I were to meet my mother, I will not hesitate to make her death slow and painful. And there will be no force large enough to stop me from doing it. It is only a fraction of what she deserves for putting my father through hell for her, and the life she gave me.

A/N: This Idea came from the last support conversation between Sain and Fiora where at the end of it he talked to himself about why he always says embarrassing things. That got me thinking on maybe Sain never wanted to act that way, maybe it was part of him he wanted but couldn't change. It went a little farther back than I had planned but still I think it was a good start, Please Read and Review.


	2. Boot Camp

I Never Wanted to Be This Way

A/N: I do not own anyone from Fire Emblem, or anything else I shouldn't own. This story will be in Sain's point of view. And yes I do have a pairing in mind for Sain, and it will not be Yaoi. I hate that kind of stuff, it's disturbing. It's basically the only pairing I was able to do so far in the game for him. So it will be Sain and Fiora in the end, but there will be other mentions of pairings

(Personal Opinions)

"Dialogue"

Ch.2

Now how I became to be the scoundrel that I am. My father with a very broken heart, vowed to teach me the ways of extreme chivalry. I was only 7 at the time I started and I didn't know any better to argue with him.

My father started to beat the chivalric ways into my character, teaching me how to be the perfect knight and the beliefs of extreme chivalry. It was almost as if it was a religion, technically it was, but it was banned a while ago, I don't know where my father got it from. I really didn't believe any of the crap he fed me, but he kept pounding it into me until it became first nature. Then he sent me to do chores for the women around the village and I acted all knight-like. The older women thought it was cute for a 7 year old to act like the old chivalrous knights. When I met girls my age, they thought I was weird and they ignored me.

If I could get all of my father's teachings out of my head, I definitely would take any chance I got. He thought being chivalrous would help me not end up like he did. He must have lost more than his heart to think that. I ended up just like him when I reached 14 years. I was literally get slapped four times a day or more, depends how long my father sent me outside. My mouth seemed to run on its own when my mind would want to say something completely different, meaning I got slapped again and again and again.

My father then enrolled me to be a knight of Caelin. I didn't object to that, probably because I thought it would be better than how my life was already turning out. I was soon moved into Caelin Army Boot Camp with very few of my possessions. I was one of many being trained and we were being split into groups of what kind of soldier we would be. There was knight, cavalier, soldier and archer. I was chosen to be a cavalier, but it was very close between that and a soldier, and I sure as hell didn't want to be a soldier, they were seriously weak. Of course, I bet my father, being a former knight of Caelin, had said something to convince them. Becoming a cavalier also boosted my chivalrous ego.

Thankfully there were no women or girls around, so I didn't have to worry about my chivalrous way acting up and I could be who I wanted to be. Except for the fact that most of the boys in training knew who I was and gave me a hard time for it. I just made them look a lot worse by showing them up in just about everything.

I showed _almost _everyone up; there was one who was better than me or my equal. He was a boy about my age with orange-red hair. His name was Kent, and soon both of us were good friends and we helped each other train. Our teacher, General Eagler, said we were at the top of our class. This only made us want to train harder to become the best. Kent was faster than I was and had more skill, but I made up for that with my strength and defense. I knew he would become better than me, because it was only a matter of time until my Chivalry becomes my better judgment, meaning I won't be able to control it. I just hope someone will be able to help me when that time comes.

During boot camp, I was able to keep my mind off women. That only lasted until women were recruited to be trained for the army. The first time I saw one of them, she was wearing gray training armor and she was tying her horse to a post. She was a very pretty girl, I have to say, wait…I think just about every girl is pretty, well anyway, she had purple hair, yes purple, which was about shoulder length, wearing a gray headband to keep the hair out of her face, and she was smiling, that was until I started talking to her.

Now I tried to stop it and just walk by but the personality hadn't been let out in about 5 months, and it took over. I knew girls were allowed to join the army, but my Chivalry just didn't except it. "Excuse me miss, it would seems that you are visiting the camp, would it bother you if I were to escort you around," I had said very knight-like, and hated myself for it. "Yes it would bother me," she said, slightly annoyed that I didn't pay attention to the fact she was wearing training armor and obviously there to train. "And I am here to train so I don't need an escort," The very pretty purple haired girl finished. I would have apologized and walked away if these thoughts would have some effect on my chivalry but that was for naught. "Surely you mustn't be here for the army. It is a knight's job to protect women, not for women to become the knight" I argued. "Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I'm weak" she said pretty angrily, probably one of those women who hate men who discriminate against them, mainly me. Before I could say something that was even more stupid, she continued talking, or yelling at me, doesn't make a difference, the same meaning is implied. "If you think I'm a weak little girl, than I challenge you to a jousting match to prove I'm not weak." I really wanted to say that I didn't think she was weak and that I was sorry for saying my last statement, but that never happened because I wasn't in control. I'm starting to think that I'm more of the consciousness than the real Sain, but I'm not entirely sure.

And of course there was a rule at boot camp that if you were challenged, you had to accept the challenge. Now there I was, on top of my horse facing off against the very pretty purple haired girl who I made the mistake of pissing off. I had hoped this would be a little more private than it was. Kent was there to see how much I would win by; everyone else was there to see if I would attack a girl. Mostly everyone's thoughts became reality when I wouldn't attack, and received hit after hit after hit, I didn't even try to dodge. Lucky for trainees, we trained with wooden weapons, so I was only bruised in a lot of placed.

Loosing did much to harm me in a way, and much to help me, and as always, bad news comes first. My reputation, as one of the best in our class, was considerably lowered. Kent was quite angry with me for not fighting at all and loosing against a new recruit. General Eagler lost some of his faith in me as one of the best trainees. The other Trainees mocked me constantly for loosing to a woman. The only good that came of losing was the was that I finally dawned on me that if I was fighting a woman, I would probably end up dying if I just stood there not defending myself. So that's when I was able to go against my chivalry, and never held back anymore when fighting against women, but I was a complete chivalrous knight otherwise.

Kent forced me to tell him why I lost, which I really didn't feel like telling anyone, but I was forced. He was the only one who didn't know about my chivalrous upbringing. I did tell my upbringing as a seven year old, and he showed me some sympathy, ugh damned sympathy…never helps. He tried to help me out with my problem, he only made it worse. His plan was basically what my father did in the past, women hunting. He thought that if I got rejected enough I would stop being a womanizer. Turns out it only made me want women more and soon it became a Saturday night tradition for me. Every Saturday I had at least one new black eye, a very red face, and thought I lost the ability to have kids. There was this girl that was obsessed with me, but she was insane, and enough that it scared my womanizer behavior away so I could run away (A/N: If you know Ranma ½ then think of Kodachi)

When I had lost the challenge with that girl, I said that I was mocked by the other trainees. What I meant by that is they dressed up as girls and challenged me to a fight. Now they had no clue that my sentiments had changed after that fight, but for mocking me as well, they were beaten 3 times as hard for it. My chivalrism wouldn't take that lying down. Sometimes even Kent would help me out.

After we finished boot camp, we became knights of Caelin, and that boosted my chivalrous ego, and I lost some more control over it. A few days after I was knighted, my father needed to see me. He told me his very sad story about how I was born and I haven't talked to him since. I yelled at him a lot for screwing me over as well as he screwed up his own life, and that I would probably end up like him, hopefully not. I still have never told anyone the full story, only parts, and I will never tell anyone the full story, I don't need anymore sympathy. It only makes it worse.

A/N: Yes I like doing authors notes before and after the story. Don't expect the next chapter as soon as this one came out, I was on vacation, and thanks to the support of the 3 reviewers, that inspired me to get it out faster. I will have other pairings in this but they won't be the main concern. And I'm sorry for adding a few things from Ranma, I'm just addicted to it so please don't get angry with me. Please RR


	3. Lost in Castle Caelin

I Never Wanted to Be This Way

A/N: I do not own anyone from Fire Emblem, or anything else I shouldn't own. This story will be in Sain's point of view. Thank you every one for your reviews, it makes me real happy. I know my second chapter wasn't as sad as my first one, of course it wasn't, I didn't want it to be, and this chapter won't even be close.

(Personal Opinions)

"Dialogue"

Ch.3

I became a Knight of Caelin when I was 17 years old. I am still considered a scoundrel by most people. Only two people didn't, one of them being Kent. The other person who saw me better was Captain Wallace, turned out he knew my father, and the situation I was in. He was going to tell me the more accurate version of my father's story, but I told him I already knew the truth of it. He helped me out a bit when it came to other knights getting on my case about being a scoundrel, or a pervert, or a complete oblivious idiot. He would scare them away, somehow, but that only lasted until he retired to owning his own farm somewhere.

The first few months were rather confusing. Living inside Caelin castle was very surprising but it took me a while of getting used to. I got lost many times. The last time I got lost I heard some noises behind a door and went in to ask for directions. Unluckily for me, I ended up in the Maids' Quarters and I was immediately knocked by something hitting my head. They probably thought the scoundrel was peeking on them while they were changing.

When I came to, I found myself in a bed, with a bandage on my forehead and a girl watching me leaning back in a chair, two legs on the ground. She probably wasn't paying too much attention to me because she was surprised when I sat up straight. "Whoa…shit" she cursed when she lost her balance when she got surprised and started to falling back, arms searching for anything in reach to help her regain her balance, but found nothing and landed on her back. "oww…" she said groaning. I laughed a bit until I noticed my chivalrous personality didn't make me go help her. I guessed it probably got damaged when I was hit in the head.

"Sorry" I said for either not helping her up or for laughing. "Don't worry about it, I shouldn't have leaned back as much anyway" she said. I finally noticed the pain in my forehead and reached up to touch the bandage with my hand. "Ughh…What happened?" I asked. "I found you out cold in front of the Maids' Quarters with a nasty bruise on your forehead and frying pan next to you on the ground. I'm not the one to jump to immediate conclusions but I'd say…" I knew where she was going with this, most people would probably say exactly the same thing except about the not jumping to immediate conclusions, never heard that before. But anyway I decided to interrupt her right there. "I was peeping, nope, not it, I was lost and I was going to ask how to get back to the barracks wing" "Oh…but how could you get lost? I mean we've been here for two months if you're a new recruit, which I am and I suspect you are if you got lost," the girl said. "It's a little hard to pay attention to details when you spend basically all your day, everyday, chasing after women," I regretfully replied with. "You must be Sain then, He's the only person I heard of that chased women constantly," she said. "Yup I'm Sain, the scoundrel/pervert/womanizer/stalker/oblivious idiot/fool/ anything else you can think of," I said a bit angry but calmed myself down.

"Have you ever heard of Extreme Chivalrism?" I asked her. "Think so…I remember hearing it was banned a while ago after a whole army of its believers was defeated by a single woman, wielding two needles and a big pot," she said. It didn't surprise me that what she said was the history of it. "Apparently not," I replied dully. "Don't tell me you believe that shit about women shouldn't fight and anything like that?" she asked. "To be honest, no I don't. But when something is beaten into your head, everyday for 7 years, you tend to not be able to control it." I said. "Ouch" was all she said to that.

During this time I really didn't look at her, hoping not to have my womanizer/chivalrous personality kick in. After her last statement I looked at her and she seemed to have a look of understanding on her face. Then I started to notice other things about her. She was a very pretty girl, like I said before, I consider all girls pretty. She was about 16-18, had brown hair that was tied in the back with single braid that went slightly below her shoulders. She was wearing blue archer's armor and the quiver at her waist was empty. "By the way," she started, "I'm Kesa of the 1st archer division." "It takes a lot of skill for a new recruit to get into the 1st archer division," I said. "It also takes a lot of skill to get into the 1st cavalier division, Sain" she said grinning. "How did you know I was in the 1st division," I asked her. "Being a womanizer isn't the only reputation you have" She stated. A few more moments of no talking, a horn was heard throughout the castle, signaling that the town or village of Caelin castle was being attacked. A voice soon could be heard yelling through the hallways. "First and Second Divisions meet outside the front gate immediately, the town is being attacked!" the voice yelled. We both looked at each other and then ran towards the barracks to get our things for battle; I followed her not knowing where the hell I was in the castle.

Outside the first two divisions of each unit formed ranks, 1st division in front, 2nd division right behind them, each person having different color armor, making it easier to tell who the person was. Kent and I were in the 1st division, we were the only two of the new cavalier recruits to make it into the first 3 divisions, which is definitely something. There were 8 divisions for each unit, and depending on the skill of the person, were placed into the best division for his skill. General Eagler, our teacher and leader of the cavalier divisions, briefed us on the situation. "I need two volunteers to ride out to the farthest town and protect it; it seems that the enemy has recruited Pegasus Knights for the occasion. You will be carrying an archer each to take out the Pegs faster." (A/N: if you couldn't guess, Pegs is Pegasus Knight for short) Eagler gave us the orders and was now waiting for volunteers. I was the first to step forward, and upon seeing this, Kent also decided to step forward. General Eagler looked rather pleased with us. "Kent, Sain, mount your horses and start heading towards the bridge, that's where the archers will meet you. After that head to the town as fast as you can and take out those Pegasus Knights. Now Move." He ordered and me and Kent got on our horses and sped off towards the bridge.

When we neared the bridge, the two archers were there waiting for us. One was a guy in his early twenties with short gray hair and gray armor to match. The other archer was a girl with brown hair and blue armor, and I almost started laughing because I already knew who she was. Weird how life works, isn't it? Kent was waiting for me to say something chivalrous, but it never came. When we stopped to pick up the archers, the girl put her bow around her right shoulder and hopped on to my horse behind me. The other archer's mouth dropped to the ground upon seeing a woman choose to ride with me, Sain, the scoundrel/pervert/womanizer/stalker/oblivious idiot/fool/ anything else you can think of, with me not saying anything chivalrous or stupid. Kent was also completely baffled by this, but started laughing when he saw the look on the other guy's face, it WAS priceless.

"Lets get moving Sain, we've got Pegs to kill," Kesa said. "Right then, hold on tight," I suggested. She did so by wrapping her arms around my waist. I blushed slightly from this, but shook it off and got my horse to go full speed towards the villager where Pegasus Knights could be seen above getting closer to it. Kent was close behind me with the other archer ready to get off the horse when we got close enough. We were almost there when I got an Idea. "Can you shoot from atop a moving horse?" I asked her. "Humph, that's how I was able to get into the 1st archer division," she said. I grinned at that.

A Pegasus spotted us when were close enough, seeing that one horse had two riders, decided to take advantage of the situation, very big mistake. The Peg Knight failed to notice that there was and archer sitting behind me taking aim at it as I turned the horse sideways. Kesa fired off her arrow and it went straight through the Pegasus's left wing, sending it straight to the ground with the rider tumbling off. I quickly subdued the rider with my lance to his chest, leaving blood stains on my lance, damned blood, always hard to get of my weapon. I didn't see the Peg Knight coming from in front of me. "Duck!" Kesa yelled and I did so and she shot an arrow at the Peg Knight. The arrow struck him right in the face killing him as he fell limply of the Pegasus, which took to flying off. "Cuuutte" Kesa stated which got me to start laughing.

Kent and the gray haired archer took care of the third Peg Knight which scared off the rest of them. We waited there until we got orders to come back to the castle, just incase there were more enemies coming.

A/N: Thank you Nightmare for giving me reassurance for the idea of Sain having someone before Fiora. I was thinking of this idea while typing Ch. 2 and seeing someone think the same way got me to write it. Problem is, I'm going to have to take it all away, which is going to be really hard to do, well, emotionally yes. I plan on making Lundgren suffer majorly (I make up my on vocabulary sometimes, majorly isn't a word) in the future. When I get the chance, I always ramble, always, so thx of everyone's reviews and please keep reviewing.


	4. It's not polite to stare

I Never Wanted to Be This Way

A/N: I do not own anyone from Fire Emblem, or anything else I shouldn't own. This story is in Sain's point of view. Thank you to my three reviewers; Nightmare, Zed21, and K-Gforever for reviewing. I am going to apologize right now for what will happen in this chapter. Like I said in one of my other chapters, I'm addicted to Ranma ½, and being so, I incorporate that into my writings sometimes like for this chapter, I took a character, and sort of transferred it into Fire Emblem, but that's just for this chapter.

(Personal Opinions)

"Dialogue"

Ch. 4

When we all returned to the castle after the battle, Eagler explained the reasons for the tactic of sending us on what would seem to be a suicide mission. We have a really old tactician, who only tells his plans to the generals. He believed if we sent the full two divisions, the Pegasus Knights would have attacked the village, knowing they wouldn't stand a chance against the forces. The original plan was to use us as a diversion so we could set up our ballista. His plan didn't work out exactly as he wanted it to but it was better. He was very impressed that Kesa was able to fire from horseback.

What is more surprising to me is that I have finally gotten control of my blasted mouth. I didn't say anything chivalrous during battle, thankfully. Nothing at all about "women shouldn't fight" or "I'll protect you" or any other crap like that. Nope, I was perfectly normal, and was extremely happy about it. And my day only got better, turned out Kesa wanted to talk to me again and told me to meet her in the Dining Hall. When she left, I was standing in the hallway, staring after her with wide eyes. I stood there dumbfounded for two minutes, it would have been more if my buddy Kent didn't show up and put me in a headlock, knocking me into the present. "Ha, so my womanizing friend has finally found himself a girl" he said. "And it only took a frying to my head too," I stated. The statement had probably fazed him, because I was able to get out of his headlock. After getting out of the headlock I tackled him to the floor and pinned him so he wouldn't move. It was still afternoon so Kent and I went to joust against each other. The score was 16 to 15 with Kent winning. Kent usually does win but I sometimes get lucky. Time went by pretty quickly that day and soon it was dinnertime and I rushed off to the Dining Hall.

Normally, I wouldn't be eating any meal in the Dinning Hall because of my habits of hitting on any woman I saw. The maids were practically scared of me and most of the soldiers hated my guts, saying I was setting a bad name for the Cealin Knights. I wasn't the only womanizer there, but I was the worst of all of them. When I entered the room that day, any of the maids that saw me almost dropped their platters that they were carrying to tables, probably because they were scared of me and I wasn't supposed to be in there. Every conversation was stopped to look at me when one of the maids dropped their plates. I was pretty used to being stared at but this would make anyone go insane, I mean there was not one person in that room that wasn't staring at me, expecting me to leave. This made me nervous and I started to mess with the headband to keep my mind off the people staring at me. I probably would have left if Kesa hadn't shown up.

I suspected she arrived after I did because she appeared next to me, grabbed my arm and dragged me to an unoccupied table. I almost burst into laughter seeing all the scared, confused, and angry faces. I saw two people run out of the room screaming something about the apocalypse. When we sat down at the table everyone was still staring at us and I heard many comments about me or Kesa. One was that Kesa was insane and the other was that I put Kesa under some kind of spell. I was fidgeting nervously from everyone staring and Kesa was blushing bright pink. We didn't start a conversation based on the fact that the whole room was quiet and everyone would listen to us.

Thankfully the Silence didn't last very long. Kent and his two friends Blue and Gray chose to walk in the Dinning Hall help me out of a bad situation without realizing it. Gray and Blue were twin brothers and were very good soldiers, both recruited a year before me and Kent. They both decided to ask me why I acted the way I did before judging me like everyone else did. Blue was part of the 1st division of cavaliers and wore blue armor. Gray was the best of the 1st division of knights since Wallace had left and he wore grey armor. Their parents either were too lazy to come up with a better original name because of a lack of imagination, unlike my mother (Damn you mother!) or were trying to stick to the tradition of naming their kids after colors, since their father's name was Red.

Kent, Blue and Gray, fell to the floor laughing upon seeing everyone's faces when they entered the room. When all of the attention was turned to my three friends laughing on the floor, I quickly exited the room, unnoticed by all but Kesa, who followed me out and we walked down the hallway. "Heh… Guess I completely forgot you had been banned from the Dinning Hall," she said embarrassed and a little disappointed. "Yeah, they had to tie me up for every meal the first two weeks so I wouldn't show up. And since just about everyone knows who I am, they just stare at me until I leave," I said and laughed a little at it, the past is so funny to look upon, especially mine. "Well, I guess we aren't going to be eating there anymore." "What do you mean by 'We'?" I asked her. "Umm…err..uhhh…I wanted to…" "Don't worry, you don't need to answer that," I said. I heard her sigh in relief, she sure was definitely shy, but yeah, I was used to not being shy, probably because I used to be a womanizer. "So how about we go into town?" I suggested. "Sure, why not."

We left the barracks on my horse to town. Anyone from the military was to carry weapons with them if they left the castle, so I brought and iron sword, a slim sword, and an iron lance. Kesa brought her customized bow, which she usually used, and believe me, it was stronger and lighter than a steel bow. The day would get a lot worse, because it was Saturday, and Saturday's used to be my weekly woman hunting days until today when I got smacked in the face by a frying pan. When we got to town, I tied my horse to a post and we entered the first tavern we came to. When I entered the building all the waitresses ran and hid in the kitchen. "Don't tell me you were banned from this place too," Kesa asked. "No, but I did come here every Saturday…please tell me today is not Saturday" I pleaded out loud. "Umm…Sain, it is Saturday" Kesa said a little confused and curious. "Shit, we need to leave now before the whip-wielding psycho shows up," I said. "Huh…Sain what are you…" Kesa was cut off by insane laughter coming from doorway. "Ah Hell," I said and dragged Kesa with me up the stairs to the empty second level. I was about to jump out the window when Kesa stopped me and glared at me in a way to make me explain. "Okay, in a few seconds you're going to hear a very disturbing laugh and a whip-crack. Both of those are going to be coming from a very insane woman who has been obsessed with me since the beginning of boot camp. I am doing my best to avoid her so nobody gets hurt, so please bear with me." I quickly explained and pleaded. She only nodded.

"Ohohoho, Sain darling, what are you doing with a girl like this? Surely she must have you under some kind of spell" said the very insane girl uncoiling the very evil whip of hers. I swear, she says that I am always under someone's spell just because I don't like her. She is even too insane for my chivalrous personality handle and that is really hard to do. The psycho lashed out at Kesa with her deadly whip of hers. Luckily, I was quick enough to catch the whip with my slim sword and the whip tightened on my sword. "Why do you protect this wretched girl from her deserved punishment, Sain my love?" the insane whip-girl asked. This seemed to really piss off the blue armored archer behind me and soon the psycho had an arrow in each of her legs and the insane girl screamed in pain.

"You know, I never like you since the day I met you, your way too crazy for me to like and so I ask you politely to LEAVE ME ALONE!" I yelled. "Darling, why do you say such things to me? It must be the work of the archer witch behind you." I sighed. "Not to worry, I'll free you from her accursed spell." The psycho said as she lashed out again with a whip that suddenly appeared in her other hand. Taking my iron sword, I cut the whip attached to my slim sword and rushed at the psycho woman. When I reached her I shoved the iron sword into her stomach and took the slim sword that was in my left hand and sliced her head clean off and then backed up to avoid any blood that would fall. Finally, after much annoyance, and many innocents getting hurt because of my womanizing habits, the psycho was gone from existence.

Killing was never a problem for me, the first time it was, but being a soldier, I had to deal with it in order to protect the people. I felt no remorse for this woman, sad as it was, but, I had to do it. She was insane enough to kill anyone in her way so at least I did the world some good by getting rid of one of those people who believe their ways are the only ways. I turned around and saw that Kesa's leg was hit by the whip, which had taken some of the skin with it leaving a heavy bleeding cut. I was thankful for the headband that I wore most of the time and used that to try and stop the bleeding. What sucked was that the night was only going to get worse.

A/N: Okay sorry this took so long to get out, I've just been busy. As for the insane person, that was a rip off of a character from Ranma ½, as I said up top. I if you know who she is good for you, if not, oh well. Thank you for your reviews and I hope you keep reviewing. Don't know how long it will take me to update again since I have to write up the next chapter too.


	5. Chapter 5

I Never Wanted to Be This Way

As you all hopefully know, as I have mentioned before, I have an addiction to the Anime/Manga series Ranma ½, and that is probably what led me to fanfiction in the first place. I apologize for my usage of a personality from that show, one of the insane characters, that I would have loved to see killed off, so I did it now. And now, Time for me to respond to reviews, which I rarely do.

RLnaruhina: Me? Braver? You're kidding right, I would say I'm a little harsh for what I plan in the future, but I hope to make up for it though. And if you want to add me or my story to that Sain stories thing you're planning on, count me in.

ThuhGamefreak: Yeah it does make you pity Sain, you're surprised I don't have much reviews? I'm not, I think my writing isn't too great, my first fic is terrible, I really need to revise the first 4 chapters of it, but you have my thanks.

Spingleburt: I inspired a story…didn't think I could do that, yet I inspired one of my friends to start writing, only to have him get bored and stop, hehe.

Arashisama: Okay…umm, I understand where you're coming from, I don't know where it says that only females can be Peg Knights, but it's only this chapter and it's not worth fixing at the moment, I won't make the same mistake again.

KG-Forever: Ah, One of my two remaining reviewers from the beginning, you have my deepest gratitude. Sorry about having the psycho (Kodachi Kuno, Ranma ½) in the story, I did mention her in the second chapter, and I decided to get rid of her. Haven't gotten to read your story yet, hopefully I'll get around to it.

Nightmare: Just wondering, but are you the author Nightmare3, author of Fire Emblem High? I got the feeling when you used Karel as a muse in the review, anyway the other faithful reviewer I have, and you also have my deepest gratitude for keeping me going. And yes, it will get worse…but not much

My good idiotic friend: This is for you Rob, if you dare print this chapter out and bring to school to read it during class or anything else, I swear I will come after you with my very sharp pointy katana! I hope you understand.

One last thing, I don't own anything, Fire Emblem, Ranma ½ or anything else unless I say I do, like Kesa for instance, she's my OC. Also note, this fic will be a little different from the game, I will have 2 tacticians later on, and just because, I'll also probably have Lyn be meaner to Sain. Warning, more cursing than usual.

(Personal Opinions)

"Dialogue"

Ch. 5

I took the head band off of my head and used my sword to cut it so I could wrap it around Kesa's leg as she was sitting down trying to ignore the pain.

"So, is this what a normal Saturday is like you?" she asked smiling a bit before her expression changed to a look of pain.

"No, not normally, I usually don't have a pretty girl with me, but other than that, it started out as it usually does, I just hope the next problem doesn't come…" I said as I finished tying the headband around her cut leg and focused on something outside the window. Kesa sat there staring at me for some odd reason…probably because I said she was pretty, I still looked outside for any signs of torches, which I did happen to see.

"Shit, we have to get out of here fast, can you walk?" I asked her. Kesa only responded by quickly standing up and walking over to where I was, favoring her hurt leg a little.

"Yeah, I'll be fine, so what's it this time" she asked me.

"The I Hate Sain the Womanizer mob is searching for me again, and I have to get to my horse before they take him away," I responded.

"Okay I'll go out the back exit and wait for you to get your horse okay?" she said.

"Okay"

With that I ran down the stairs, to the exit, and to where my horse was tied up, and I could already see those torches and pick forks held in the air, along with other types of deadly weapons I don't feel like conveying. The mob was mostly made of women, but also men who didn't like me hitting on their wives, girlfriends, or daughters, especially daughters. It took a bit to untie the reigns from the post, but I got on quickly and rode around to the back of the tavern, where Kesa was waiting holding a fence for support. Grabbing her arm, I pulled her up to sit in front of me on the horse.

"We're not coming back here again. Got it Sain?"

"Right, but you keep saying 'we'" I replied with, but got my horse to start galloping towards Caelin castle.

"W-Well, you need someone to look after you" she said, her voice wavering.

"Hmm, seems like someone likes me-Oww" I said, until she elbowed me in the stomach.

"You haven't shown me any reason to consider you a womanizer...yet, except all the things that happened to us in town, but you haven't acted all like everyone says you usually do. And I'm worried that if I leave you alone too long, you might go back to your old ways, and then I might not be able talk to you because you'll be too busy…doing other things…" Kesa, surprised me again by saying that, and confused me to no end.

"Thank you," is all I said to respond, and indeed I was grateful. After that we were silent until made it back to the castle, where I had to carry her to the infirmary, getting many people to stare at me, and a group of arrogant fools from the 2nd division of cavaliers started to give me trouble.

"What did you do this time pervert?" the one in teal armor asked rhetorically "Chase her until she tripped and take advantage of her"

"Why don't you let me take her, I'm sure she'd be happier away from you" The one in brown armor said, and he looked the most moronic out of all of them, probably the others used him as a meat shield, I'd think he'd make a better knight, wait no he'd make a better soldier, he seems more like cannon fodder than anything else.

Behind me I could here Kesa growl, being I was carrying her piggy-back style, she seemed really angry.

"Back off Jackasses! You don't know what happened, so why don't you leave him the hell alone!" She yelled at them, and pretty much shocked the hell out of them, the look on their faces were either surprised, angry, or just plain stupid. No, no one should stand up for the pervert Sain, the womanizer that everyone believes shouldn't be alive, because he caused so much trouble for people, even though he's helped save a bunch of people fighting for Caelin. But I smirked in victory and walked passed them, towards the direction I believed the infirmary was in.

"Of all the nerve, if I wasn't in so much pain from that whip, I would sooo beat the living daylights out of him"

"Calm down, we can't have you getting more hurt, I'd probably get into more trouble, and than banned from seeing you and we wouldn't want that would we?" I said.

"Of course…I guess I'm not the only one saying 'we'" she replied with.

"Well I kind of like the word, 'we' seems much better than 'I' or 'me'"

"Whatever Sain…Turn right"

"Huh? Oh…" Turning right I went into the infirmary, let her down into a chair.

"Well, I guess I'll pick you up here tomorrow" I said.

"Yeah I guess, Thanks for today though, it was…different" she said to me, smiling in her pretty way, but I could still see she was in pain from that large cut from the whip.

"Yeah, different…" I said, before walking out the door to head to my room in the barracks.

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Well, life for me got much happier after that day. The next morning I went to visit Kesa, she was treated and felt a lot better, and was able to walk too, even though she had a very visible limp. I introduced her to Kent, who kept hinting about a relationship somewhere in the future for us, not that I doubted him, but it got a little annoying. It was good to see that I had one friend who was happy for me though.

Kesa and I practically did everything together until it was night and we went to sleep in our own rooms. I shared my room with Kent, not that that wasn't obvious, but he wouldn't let me sleep until I told him what happened. He was really happy for me to finally find someone who actually like being around me.

One day, Kesa, Kent, and I were walking to the Dining Hall. The same jerks that stopped me from bringing Kesa the infirmary decided that Kesa deserved some punishment for denying them the pleasure of being her heroes. And since she was around me, who was the biggest pervert in the world in their eyes, which isn't true, they believed that she has probably slept with me too. And with that idea in mind, they started to call her a 'Slut' and a 'Whore', and accused her of prostitution too, which I would've killed them for, if Kesa hadn't acted first.

Kesa walked up to the group's leader, started whispering into his ear, and drawing a circle on his chest with her finger, leaving him blushing and babbling like and idiot. Seeing this, I got a little angry, most likely it was jealousy…nobody would blame me, I hope. All of my fears were taken away when she kneed him in a…a place where no man should be hit, even if he deserved it. The man fell to the ground, groaning pain before he passed out. The other two, took action immediately, each grabbing one of Kesa's arms. Things looked like they were going to get painful so Kent and I choose to intervene. I tackled the big stupid guy while Kent grabbed the other and rammed his head into the wall, it looked rather painful. My only problem was that I wasn't as strong as the big idiot I tackled, so I was a disadvantage. I had the element of surprise thankfully, and used it to its full potential, punching him as many times as I could in the face. I now understood why he was a cavalier, he can't take a hit, but he has strength, and hopefully would have enough speed.

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"Well," I began, "What should we do with them?"

"I think we should hang them by their toes from the rafters of the stables" Kent suggested, the fact that he could be rather cunning when duty wasn't on top of him was surprising.

"Do what you want.." Kesa, with tears in her blue eyes, walked away from us, not even bothering to look back.

"Jerks" I said, kicking the guy who said the unflattering words.

"Sain, go deal with her, I'll take care of these guys. And if you see Gray and Blue on your way, send them down here, I might need help" Kent told me, pushing me forward.

"Thanks" I yelled back as a rushed off after Kesa.

(A/N) Well…sorry for leaving off at this point, I really want to get this chapter out, and this seemed like a good spot. Main problem, I'm spending too much time on the Sain/Kesa romance that will end depressively. I also have another problem, I have a feeling that I made Kesa a Mary-Sue, or a perfectly made OC who everyone likes and has no faults. I am not totally convinced yet, and if you believe it not to be true, please tell me, because I need the support, and I feel like I might not be able to continue this, since I don't like Mary-Sue's.


	6. Chapter 6

I Never Wanted to Be This Way

Damn, where did my two original reviewers go...oh well, thanks to everyone who is still supporting me in this…now, now to turn on the Auto Reviewer Response System (ARRS).

RLnaruhina: Well, I don't know what to say, except, thanks for all the support, and for letting me in the C2…wait a tick, I really don't need to say anything to you.

ThuhGamefreak: Uhh…sorry for the very long delay…and for it being shorter

Spingleburt: Thanks for the support, I really appreciate it. Though, I'm not much a character basher…maybe not for comedy effects.

Well, since FF.N has added to review response, I can't use the ARRS anymore, so this will be the last time.

For the owner of the Funny Fire Emblem community C2: Though I appreciate finally having my fic in a C2, yours was not on my list of possible ones, seriously, Humor is in the like 4th or 5th genre of this fic, Angst…clearly the opposite of humor, is #1 genre. I feel like maybe you chose this fic because you find that the angsty-ness of my story is funny, or sucks so much that it is funny, and if that is the case, I ask you to take it out of your C2, thank you.

Well, all ideas eventually die, I'll see what I can do to save this fic, but my last beliefs is that it will end right when Kent and Sain leave for their Journey to find Lyn.

Ch. 6 (I gave up writing titles)

I ran down the hallway in the direction I believe Kesa ran in, somehow not finding a trace of her. I continued down the hallway and spotted Blue, my fellow cavalier, in his trademark blue armor and called to him. He looked really confused.

"Sain, is there something wrong with Kesa? She just stormed right past me without even a passing glance."

"Kent will tell you, he's down the hall that way," I pointed back the way I came. "Which way did she go?"

"I believe I overheard her mutter something about the archery range," the cavalier said, as if recalling something from far in the past. What convenient information, lucky me, but as fate would have it, any luck turns to bad luck.

"Thanks Blue, I'll talk to you later," I said as I took the quickest way I knew of to get to the archery range, which involved climbing down some vines outside a window. Besides, I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone at that moment so avoiding everyone else was a bonus.

Finally making it too the archery range, which was conveniently empty except for one lone archer, I decided to try and calm down the female archer who was firing arrows rapidly at a target. When I looked at the target, a dummy of a human being, I saw arrows in many places to either kill the person instantly, or make sure a man would never have children. Perhaps not taking caution while approaching a very irate woman was not the best choice I could have made, for when she heard a footstep behind her she turned around and aimed an arrow right at me.

"Go away, Sain," Kesa said to me, pulling back on the bow string. She was crying, which I had been expecting. Though, I could also see an angry expression on her face, deadly even. I really wasn't sure what I should do, run away, or get shot. I was scared of course, but running away didn't seem like a good option at the moment, and getting shot sounded painful, and deadly, especially with her aim. My only choice was to see if I could calm her down, something I was never good at, given how tactful I am.

"Kesa, please calm down," I told her, trying to be calm, though fear showed in my voice.

"Go away," she shouted this time, showing her anger and frustration, but I still didn't move.

"I can't do that." She fired her arrow, barely missing my head. The alarms of danger in my head were going off in fear that I was going to feel great agony in mere moments.

"Why are you here?" she asked, clearly not convinced as she notched another arrow onto her bow. "Is it because I'm the only woman who will willingly spend time with you? Is it because I'm easy?"

"Not at all," I replied, trying to think before screwing myself over. "It's because you were the only one who gave me a shot after the first meeting; though, I had been under the influence of being hit in the head with a frying pan at the time. Those remarks were not deserved, and you know that they aren't true, just by associating with me."

I thought I looked very dramatic, my hand clenched in front of me, trying to get the insecure woman to believe me. I soon found a very odd feeling in my foot, and looking down upon it, I saw a shaft of an arrow sticking out of it. I started to hop up and down, holding my foot in pain, as I tried to pull the arrow out. Not much luck there. Hopping around makes pulling an arrow out of a foot a hard task to accomplish. I ended up falling onto my back, groaning in pain until I was finally able to pull the arrow out.

It was then that I finally noticed the laughter coming from the person that had given me a fair amount of physical displeasure. Well, at least it got her to stop being angry. I staggered to my feet, or one foot, ever so slowly, trying to ignore the pain.

"You wouldn't have a vulnerary on you by chance?" I asked hopefully. She shook her head, frowning.

"Would you mind helping me to a cleric then?" I asked again, hopefully. The cause of my current pain and suffering smiled and nodded, walking over to help me stand. We then headed towards the cleric station so I could get my foot healed.

"I suppose you could say I have been shot by Cupid's arrow, but those aren't supposed to hurt and leave a gaping bleeding wound, right?" Yes, my foot was bleeding. Much. Of course, all I have covering my feet is a pair of boots. What use would I have for armored shoes when riding a horse? As soon as I mentioned the wound she had brought upon me, Kesa stopped smiling.

"Sorry," she apologized to me. I just grinned, despite the pain I seemed to be in.

"It's okay, but could you do me a favor to make up for this pain?" I asked, hoping she'd agree.

"Okay, what?" I smiled fiendishly, it seemed part of my old self was still alive somewhere.

"Can I have a kiss?" Her face immediately went blank, having heard the words, but had yet to fully register my request.

"Wait…What?" She blushed, clearly not expecting the request. I simply smiled and decided to see if I could guilt her.

"Well, you did shoot an arrow in my foot, for no apparent reason, and then you laughed at my misery and pain from said bloody arrow. I figure you do owe me at least that." She considered it for a moment and then sighed, admitting defeat.

"Fine, you can have a kiss." And before I knew what had happened, I found her lips meeting mine. It was possibly the happiest moment of my life up to that point. And of course, it was short. Real short. Maybe two seconds long. But it was still worth all the pain I went through to get it.

"So Sain," the brown-haired archer goddess asked, smiling at me. "You ready to get the foot healed?"

I could only nod my head, but I think I might have been drooling at the time.

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We had made it to the cleric station, and, unfortunately, none of the clerics were willing to heal me. So I got stuck being treated by a priest. I hate priests. Sure, they're servants of Elimine, but that's something I feel is reserved for the beautiful creatures of this world know as women. That, and the rumors about what some of them do to the young…

Anyway, as soon as I was able to escape that dreadful place I went into the dining hall to get some food. I got plenty of looks from the various people that didn't like me, which was pretty much everyone. I didn't care at all though, because I was happy, very happy. I really couldn't be happier. After eating my meal, during which I ignored all the hurtful glares, I walked off to find Kesa, high in spirits.

Eventually I reached the door to Kesa's room, and knocked. She told me to come in, to which I opened the door to find her packing away her things into a bag. She turned to face me, not looking happy at all.

"You going to visit your family?" I asked, worried that it probably wasn't.

"No, I wish I was though."

"What is it then?"

"I've been reassigned, Sain. I'm going being sent over to be a soldier at Lord Lundgren's manor." It couldn't be any worse, I figured. As soon as we seemed to be getting closer, we get split apart, like we were never supposed to be together.

"Fine, I'll ask to be transferred over there as well. It's not like they have anything for me here to do," I said. I hoped she would be fine with it, but the angry expression on her face told me otherwise.

"Sain, you have a new job assigned to you as well," Kesa told me, crossing her arms across her chest.

"I have? How come I haven't heard about it?"

"Your friend Kent has been searching around for you, and I ran into him. He asked me where you were, and told me you and he were setting off on a quest tomorrow for Lord Hausen." I sighed, and wondered why this all had to happen now.

"I'm sorry Sain. I really do like you, but orders are orders. Besides, the second rule about being a soldier is that there is no getting attached. It just wasn't meant to be Sain." And with that, she gave me a hug, which I returned. We held each other for a short while and then we broke apart. She closed the distance between us once more and gave me one last kiss.

"It's been real fun Sain, meeting that crazy lady, beating on morons. Too bad it had to end this way. Well Goodbye Sain, may the goddess watch over you." And with that I waved goodbye to the holder of my first and second kisses, and possibly the first person I ever loved.

Kesa would not be forgotten, at least, not by me.

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The next day, Kent and I bid farewell to our good friends Blue and Gray, the brothers that we would end up fighting against in the future, and not even realize we killed them. Well, not really us. Gray ended up being killed by our future companion Erk, a mage, while a ballista bolt took out Blue, fired by an archer prodigy by the name of Wil.

Our Quest was to find Lord Hausen's granddaughter, Lyndis, and bring her back to Caelin. It would be a long journey, since our destination was the plains of Sacea.

"So Kent, think I'll meet any pretty women who will fall for my charms on this trip."

"Unlikely, I doubt anyone would fall for your charms."

"Ow, that hurts your good friend right here."

"I'm only telling you what I, and everyone else we know, would say."

"You could at least play along."

"Fine, I'm sure you'll meet one of those Pegasus knights of 'legendary beauty' you used to think about a lot."

"Not just one, my boon companion, I'll meet three of those angelic Pegasus knights, and all three of them will fall for my charms."

"Sure Sain, sure, if you say so."

END…

A/N: Holy crap. I actually finished a story. ALL RIGHT! Thank you everyone who has followed this story, I'm sorry I ended it here, but going any farther just would have killed it. Sorry if the end seems rushed.

Thanks again.

And Thanks to RLnaruhina, who has been supporting me through this, and who beta read this chapter.


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